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Colonel Butley

We caught up with the retired old-fashioned English Colonel Butley- father of Melissa Butley and brother of Lady Clarissa Piermont- over a pint in Glastonbury’s Yeoman’s Arms. We see how his fortunes have fared since the Sleeping Dragon…

So Mr Butley…
Now now- it’s Colonel Butley to you, we don’t want to let standards drop now do we what what?! This is a one off drink... you understand don’t you chap?

Of course, sorry! So what have you been doing recently then?
Oh, this and that boy! I’ve brought the pub, you know! It’s coming along nicely- Melissa runs the bar, I hire the staff- I’ve got my eye on that shoppie up the road, the Cosmic Faerie, as well!

Oh- is Tristan looking to sell up then?
Don’t be foolish chap- the minute he heard I’d brought the pub, the hippie swine had fled Glastonbury, never to be seen again I’d wager. Left his shop just like that! The council have seized it, and it’s on the market! I’ll just have to ask Clarissa for a small loan! As well as that I have my eye on the Fortune Tellers opposite, Zazie’s Kiosk.

I can’t see you as a Seer, Colonel…
Don’t be stupid boy, of course I wouldn’t! Hocus Pocus nonsense, but I’d buy the company and lease it back to her- or perhaps I could get Clarissa down to run the place- it’s about time she got out of Hemel Hempstead. Either way chappie, it’s a good money spinner.

So you plan to take over Glastonbury then?
I suppose you could put it like that boy, what what?! After the Tor was thrown down in that strange storm, conspiracy theorists have been piling into the place- the tourist trade is at it’s highest ever I believe. With the right management and direction, Glastonbury shall be all mine!

What do you think happened in that seismic storm then? Did you see a dragon on the Tor?
You are being a foolish chap, are you not?! Bloody dragons! I’ve never heard so much nonsense! It was no more than a mere thunderstorm- this is Great Britain you know!

How is Lady Piermont then?
She’s fine- why shouldn’t she be? A bit erratic, more than usual it has to be said, but she’s in good health and that is what counts, what what?! As for the other ladies in my life, Melissa, as I have said, is coming along nicely- she has all the brains to become a queen, I say, a queen! And I brought Purdey an new upgrade last week, a new trigger, wrought of iron and gold!

Purdey being your female, double barrelled shotgun yes?
Yes indeed- had her since the Great Korean war days when I was made a Colonel, she never has let me down! Had her valued last week, we’re talking a 6 figure valuation my boy, 6 figures!

Wonderful- so what’s the future for Colonel Butley?
Well boy, Glastonbury and beyond- know any other villages that need a makeover do you? If so, name then boy, name then!

Try Quaramonte and Lochmarne, that’ll keep you busy. All the best Colonel and thanks! We’ll leave you to pay for the beer.

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